Women and men are different in how they view and approach many situations; this becomes especially important when a couple is going through the very stressful process of infertility and infertility treatments. Infertility will try even the strongest couples. It can change the very nature of your relationship sometimes so much so that when the happy day of a healthy sustaining pregnancy is achieved couples sometimes cannot readjust their relationship. Infertility is very difficult for both the men and woman. Getting some perspective can go a long way to thriving during treatment so your relationship is strong even after the infertility battle.
A Man’s Perspective
“When you fall in love and make the commitment to someone it is not disposable. You are making a promise to yourself, the one you love, your friends and both your families that come hell or high water you will get through life together. Nothing that life can throw at you will tear you apart. “
“I still remember my wife telling me at one point that she would not blame me for seeking another woman who could give me a child when we went through our journey. To this day I cannot believe that statement but I understand that her love for me and the disappointment she felt in herself because of our struggles to conceive made her feel that way. I have read many women make the same statement my wife did to me but I don’t think I have heard a man say it.”
“I learned from my wife that women are the strongest of creatures and in many ways stronger that men but even the strongest of us have insecurities.”
The Perspective- Takeaway
A man who loves you will see infertility as a struggle and a medical condition shared by you together as a couple. Women are every strong by nature and desire to take care of everyone. That is why a woman out of great love for her partner would be willing to let go of the man she loves to give him what she thinks he wants most. The fact is he loves and wants you first then a child. The idea that it is your fault as woman or that he would want to be with another women, that can have a child most likely never crossed his mind. He loves you and chose you for better or for worse, try to remember that.
Since women ‘s bodies carry the baby and they go through the majority of all the testing, treatments and procedures they feel an enormous burden throughout the entire infertility process this can lead them to blame themselves. Also because women are going through the majority of the procedures and tests men may feel pretty helpless when all they want to do is make it better for the partner they love. He wants to protect and fix things; with infertility there is no control and it is not something he can fix. It can be very difficult to see your pain and understand that his rule is important. He needs to support and build up his very strong woman. It takes the strength of two to go through all the tests, treatments, procedures, successes and setbacks.
Infertility is a very difficult medical condition as it can shake you to your very core. It is vital during infertility to actively maintain your relationship both within and outside of the fertility battle. The more you share and understand your partner’s perspective, then the less likely a buried emotion or hurt feelings will fester into an argument that could have been avoided. If you can do these things as a couple you will have a healthy relationship and after the infertility rollercoaster is over your relationship will adjust to be healthy and happy.
Source for Male Quotes
Sunshine Dreams and Hopes blog
by The Tao of Pig Pen